


Deep Shadow Conditions

by orphan_account



Series: Uneasy Lies the Head that Wears the Crown [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, the winter soldier - Fandom
Genre: BAMF Maria Hill, Black Widow - Freeform, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Captain America - Freeform, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Complete, Completed, Double Agents, Evil Alexander Pierce, F/M, Finished Story, Gen, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hydra (Marvel), Hydra Uprising, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Nick Fury Knows All, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, Pre-HYDRA Reveal, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Secrets, Slow Build, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson Friendship, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, The Winter Soldier - Freeform, Uncle Nick Fury, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:00:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21878536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A talented agent. Her dark secret. Two sides of the same story.Kerrigan Oliver is one of the best agents in her field. She excels at espionage, so well that she infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D. for HYDRA, then turned against HYDRA within S.H.I.E.L.D. with minimal detection. Once her asset gets moved into D.C. for a mission she can't stand for, she has to make a choice.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s), James “Bucky” Barnes & Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson & Natasha Romanoff
Series: Uneasy Lies the Head that Wears the Crown [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1576117
Comments: 21
Kudos: 45





	1. There’s No Place Like Home/HYDRA

A woman stood under the shadow of the Triskelion, rolling a small carry-on suitcase behind her. From the looks of it, she may have just arrived from a short trip - which couldn't be farther from the truth. She wore the jet-lag under her eyes like a champ. Being abroad for half a year put things into perspective for her, and also served as a reminder of how big the Triskelion is.

There was no doubt that this was where she belonged. The embroidered eagle emblem on the shoulder of her jacket matched the statue in the front of the building. An uncharacteristically cool breeze blew through the break in the buildings just over the Potomac, coaxing her inside out of the otherwise sweltering June heat.

"Welcome back Agent Oliver." The woman received a round of applause from officials within S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters as she scanned in with an embossed ID card. Her cheeks flushed as she distributed a few 'thank you's and humble waves. Attention wasn't something she was used to, or wanted, but it was hard to avoid it being one of the most talented agents within the agency. She ducked into an elevator by herself.

"Office of the Secretary, Alexander Pierce," she commanded as the doors closed.

"Name and credentials?" The elevator prompted.

"Oliver-Pierce, Kerrigan I. Level 8."

The elevator lifted. Kerrigan turned to look out the windows at the campus. Nostalgia washed over her. The love for her work could be seen in the reflection of her eyes, but the espionage mission lured her away from the comfort of the capitol.

The elevator stopped twelve floors up, letting a flood of agents in. One maneuvered his way through the crowd with a sense of swagger that came with a leadership position.

"No way, is that really you?" He looked her up and down.

"Brock, it's good to see you."

Rumlow stood next to her.

"How was Paris?" He asked.

"It was enjoyable, except for the parts where I was being shot at," she smirked.

"Ah, but aren't those the best parts?" They chuckled. "Where are you headed?"

"Up to see m-Secretary Pierce." She had to catch herself. There were some things she didn't want to let slip to her co-workers. Top on that list was her relationship to the Secretary of the World Security Council. Though her work proved her worth, she wanted to avoid any insinuation of nepotism. It was nobody's business that Alexander Pierce was her father. Kerrigan went through great lengths to keep her true identity buried from her fellow agents, so much so that she even adopted her late mother's maiden name - Oliver.

"Me too. Are you getting assigned to tonight's mission?"

"Dude, I just got off an 8-hour plane ride across the Atlantic. I don't know if I'm up for a mission tonight. I haven't even been back to my apartment yet," Kerrigan pointed at her suitcase. The elevator finally arrived at the 45th floor where the two were due to get off.

"Aw come on, I know you've missed being on S.T.R.I.K.E.," Rumlow said sincerely.

"You're right," Kerrigan smiled, grabbing hold of the handle of her suitcase and pulling it through the elevator doors. "You can go in to see him first."

"What, are you nervous about seeing the Secretary, Oliver?" He joked.

"No, I'm trying to be courteous. I could make it into an order though," she replied with a little bit of sass.

"Does it bring you joy to bring up the fact that you outrank me every time we talk about work?"

"Maybe a little." She winked. Rumlow knocked on the door before entering, leaving Kerrigan out in the hallway. Though she would never admit it, especially to Rumlow, she was nervous about seeing her father. She swallowed her heart back down into her chest.

Minutes passed until the office door swung open.

"He's all yours. I hope to be seeing you later Ker," Rumlow held the door open for her.

"Yeah, I'll see you," she ducked under his arm, still toting her luggage behind her. He closed the door behind her with a genuine smile.

Alexander Pierce was sitting at his desk reading a stack of papers intently with a pen stashed behind his ear. Kerrigan cleared her throat to get his attention, which startled him slightly.

"Kerrigan! I knew your mission was completed, but I would've thought you'd have stayed in Europe a bit longer, and actually see the sights."

"Well, I have a life here, and work, and my other commitments," she trailed off, feeling her heart rise in her chest again.

"Agent Ward contacted me when you both wrapped, he said you did well."

"I think he underestimated me," Kerrigan said, taking a seat in the chair opposite her father.

"Ward's a tough nut to crack. He likes working alone." He pulled the pen from behind his ear and capped it. "But I told him, 'I'm sending you my best Ward.'"

Kerrigan was taken aback by the compliment - not that she wasn't used to them, but they usually didn't come out of her father's mouth.

"So, any plans now that you're back?" He asked.

"A little birdy told me that there may or may not be a mission tonight with the Reserve, so I was hoping to maybe get assigned back to my old team."

"I can assign you back onto S.T.R.I.K.E., but you'll have to see Fury about getting onto the Lemurian Star tonight," he offered.

"Sounds like a plan, I was just about to go check in with him after seeing you."

Pierce rose from his chair. "Come here."

Kerrigan got up to meet him, where he held him arms out in an embrace.

"Hail Hydra," he whispered in her ear.

"Hail Hydra," she returned. She could hear the pounding of her heart in her ears. The pit in her stomach that had been closed for six months was ripped back open, causing guilt and shame to pour back into her system.

"Well, you best go see Fury if you're serious about the mission."

"Yes sir." Kerrigan turned for the door.

"Kerrigan-" he called after her. She turned to look at him. "I missed you."

"I missed you too dad."

She left his office feeling emptier than ever, and went back to the lift. Down fifteen floors, Fury was waiting for her. The entire ride down, Kerrigan couldn't help but to wonder if her dad really missed her, or just missed her skill set.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final edits made on 03/20/2020.


	2. What if you didn’t ask for permission, and forgiveness is too far gone?

The elevator stopped two floors prematurely to let another agent on. She kept her head down, scrolling through her phone as she ambled onto the lift. Kerrigan smiled, momentarily distracted from where she had just come from.

“Nat?”

Natasha Romanoff looked up from her hands.

“No way, you’re back?”

The two girls hugged, giddy in their reunion.

“I don’t know you were coming back,” Nat started.

“Me either! Fury called me back early. I was planning on taking some time off, but duty calls.” Kerrigan chuckled. The elevator doors closed. Natasha listed off her credentials, and they moved down the remaining two floors.

“He must want you on tonight’s mission.”

“Yeah, the Lemurian Star, right?”

Natasha nodded. The doors opened, and the two stepped out. Just as they were approaching the door to Fury’s office, the door opened.

“In. Quickly.”

They shuffled into the room.

“Secure Office,” Fury commanded hastily. The view of the Triskelion’s campus was dimmed by the windows of Fury’s office. The door locked behind them.

“I need you both on the Lemurian Star tonight,” he said. He pulled up a holographic visual of the vessel and began highlighting certain rooms. The girls nodded, following along.

“Romanoff, I need you to make back-ups of the data stored on the computers.”

“Yes sir.”

“And go pick up Rogers. I expect you can find him running along side the Potomac at this time of day.”

Kerrigan lost her balance for a moment. If Natasha was picking up Rogers, naturally he would be coming with. And that could be problematic. She never wanted to work with him, not since she found out about his relationship to her work.

“Steady on your feet there, Agent?” Fury asked.

“Yes sir.”

“The Quinjet leaves in an hour, go suit up.”

They turned to leave.

“I’m not done with you yet, Pierce.”

Kerrigan stopped dead in her tracks. Natasha turned around confused.

“Nat, I’ll meet you in the armory,” Natasha buried her confusion under her stoicism, nodded, then left Fury’s office.

“Sir,” Kerrigan started.

"I know what you're going to say," Fury interrupted.She stood back and crossed her arms. "But Director Fury, you can't put me on a Quinjet with Steve Rogers."

Kerrigan shrugged to indicate that he was pretty much on point with his assumption.

"Well yes I can!" He yelled, slamming his fist down on his desk. "And I am! You want to know why? Because that's your assignment.”

"I just don't feel right about working with him, and pretending that his best friend isn't still alive and a brainwashed HYDRA monster!" She yelled back, losing her composure.

"Now I thought you liked playing pretend , seeing as you pretended to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent while working for HYDRA," He snapped.

"I MADE A MISTAKE!" She held herself up on the back of his desk chair. "It was a mistake.”

"Yes, and now we're here. In this predicament," He continued. "Mistakes or not, actions have consequences.”

Kerrigan took a breath, her lungs shaking in her chest, drawing in oxygen painfully. The look on Nick’s face softened.

“I’m sorry Ker-“

She put her hand up to stop him.

“No, I deserved that.”

“You didn’t.”

Kerrigan looked up, trying to stop the tears from welling up in her eyes.

“How’s your shoulder?” He asked sympathetically, trying to shift the topic.

“Its fine. I heal fast, remember?”

“I do.”

Silence fell between them. It had been a long six months since she came crying to his doorstep, freshly wounded from a path of bad decisions and a bullet hole through her left shoulder. Healing was one thing, but earning the forgiveness of a father figure who she’s been working against, who has nothing but help her since she was a kid, Kerrigan did’t think she could ever get there.

“I should probably go get ready,” she said softly.

“Yeah.” Nick came around his desk, arms open. Hugging wasn’t necessarily his style, but he made an exception on occasion. Kerrigan started feeling whole again. Day by day, choice after choice, she was going to make this right.

She left his office with a feeling of, not quite happiness, but the closest she had been to peace in a very long time.

————-

_He was after her. She could hear his cold, hard footsteps pacing the ground. Should she run, or should she hide? Her mind was cloudy with adrenaline. She could feel the changes coursing through her. She caught the glint of his arm, silver reflecting in the sparse lighting of the warehouse. Shadows were casted across the floor. What was man? What was machine? It was too hard now to tell the difference._

_She tip-toed across the aisle, trying to put as much distance between them as possible. She pressed herself up against another shelving unit, and it gave to her weight, trapping her underneath._

_"No, no, no," She pulled her leg out from under it effortlessly, but the noise beckoned him to her location. Within moments, he was standing over me with his gun cocked.. Ordered to only deliver a non lethal, non debilitating shot in this training exercise, the bullet penetrated her left shoulder missing bone by millimeters._

_He stood, staring blankly ahead. His hair was pulled back, revealing the face of the same man whose photo was hung on the S.H.I.E.L.D. memorial wall. He hadn't aged a day since 1944. She felt nauseous. Pain and guilt took over. She sat on her heels and cried silently._

_HYDRA agents came into the room and surrounded them, clapping on a successful training mission for her and the Winter Soldier. The group parted like the Red Sea to make a pathway for her father. He extended a hand to her, helping her to her feet as she hastily dried her tears._

__

_"Are you okay?" He asked her, more out of formality than actual concern. She nodded. Everyone quieted down and looked towards her to lead the cry. There was only a moment on hesitation._

_"Hail HYDRA!" She yelled._

_"Hail HYDRA!" The group clamored. Her pager buzzed on her waistband._

__ **_Pierce, report to HQ. I have a mission for you. NF_ **

_"Dad, I have to report to Fury for my day job," She said under her breath. He nodded, eyes still fixed on the former sergeant. They were planning on putting him back on ice._

_"Clean yourself up first," He said gesturing to her shoulder, which had already stopped bleeding. She weaved through the crowd, past the chair where she had once been strapped down to and injected, and out the doors of the remote warehouse leaving behind her biggest regret and the empty parcel of the super soldier serum she devised for her own personal use. She carried the formula within her now, not by choice._

_The summer heat stuck to her skin, even though the sun was out of sight. The moon presided over the sky, lighting the path to her car. Pulling the door open, she slid inside andfumbled for the first aid kit in the glove box. Popping the key in the ignition, She pressed on the overhead light. Tweezers. Thread. Needle. Gauze._

_Minutes later, she was on the road with her arm stitched together in a botched fashion. Within the hour, she pulled into the parking deck and decided to sport a jacket on over her shirt to cover up the evidence._

_Wearing a jacket in the midst of eighty degree weather was less suspicious that a hack stick job hanging off her arm for all to see. She met Fury on the ground floor._

_He took her into the elevator._

_"I have something to show you," He said with a smile. "Insight Bay.”_

_"Kerrigan Oliver-Pierce does not have clearance for Project Insight." The elevator barked._

_"Director override. Fury, Nicholas J.”_

_“Confirmed."_

_The elevator started the course down. When the doors finally opened to the Bay, three monstrous helicarriers loomed in the shadows._

_"After New York, I convinced the Council we a needed a quantum surge in threat analysis. For once, we're way ahead of the curve." Fury started. "We have to take the world as it is, not as we'd like it to be."_

_As he explained Project Insight, She could only think of what her father was planning with this. She knew all about Project Insight, and how it was going to pave a new world for HYDRA according to her father._

_"I have to go upstairs," She interrupted, booking it for the lift. Fury called after her, but she ignored him. The elevator carried her to the fourteenth floor, where her desk was. Since it was after hours, the floor was deserted leaving the area eerily silent. The lights were off, the space illuminated only by the stars and storm lights._

_She paced back and forth. "This was a mistake. This is so bad." She contemplated her fate out loud. “If I’m caught by S.H.I.E.L.D. as a double agent, I would be imprisoned for life. If it was found out that my allegiance to HYDRA was wavering, they’ll kill me.”_

_She failed to hear the elevator doors open, and Nick coming onto the floor.“I’m not going to let either of those things happen to you. But you need to come clean to me, now.”_

_She turned to look at him.“Nick, I'm in trouble.”_

_————_

Kerrigan sat in the armory lacing up her boots. Her shirt sleeve rode up, exposing the crude scar on her arm in all of its rippled and discolored glory. She quickly pulled the sleeve back down and slid on a jacket in anticipation for the cold that came with the high altitudes and salty sea air. She held her head in her hands, trying to shake off the nasty memory that came to the surface.

"Kerrigan!" Nat voice snapped her out from her head space. "I want you to meet my friend, Captain Steve Rogers."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited on 03/20/2020


	3. Seas the Day (and the Hostages)

"Nice to meet you ma'am," Steve extended his hand out to her. She shook it and smiled.

"I'm Agent Kerrigan Oliver. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“No, the pleasure is mine ma’am,” his voice was dripping with sincerity. “I’ve been looking forward to working with you.”

“Ditto.” Lies.

He smiled and turned away to catch Rumlow’s attention as he walked past. Another agent walked around with a case of comms. Kerrigan picked one up and slid it into her right ear.

“Comm check. Comm check. Wheels up in five minutes.” Rumlow’s voice came over the frequency.

She fastened her tactical vest tightly, and stowed her suitcase under the bench. On her way towards the jet, she picked up the standard firearm, and tucked extra ammunition into her belt. S.T.R.I.K.E., Nat, and Steve loaded onto the jet. Everyone circled around Rumlow, who led the brief as the wheels lifted.

"How many pirates?" Rodgers asked.

"Twenty-five. Top mercs led by this guy," Rumlow pulled up an image of a man. "Georges Batroc. Ex-DGSE, Action Division. He's at the top of Interpol's Red Notice. Before the French demobilized, he had thirty-six kill missions. This guy's got a rep for maximum casualties.”

"Hostages?" Nat asked.

"Mostly techs, one officer. Jasper Sitwell. They're in the galley." Rumlow replied.

"All right, I'm gonna sweep the deck and find Batroc. Nat, you kill the engines and wait for instructions. Rumlow, you sweep aft, find the hostages, get them to the life-pods, get them out. Let's move." Captain said. 

"S.T.R.I.K.E., you heard the Cap. Gear up." Rumlow commanded. Nat pulled Steve off to the side, an the two chatted for a moment before he opened the bay doors and leapt out. 

“Oliver,” Rumlow called. She turned towards him. “Sitwell is your priority. Get him out unharmed.”

“Yes, sir.”

He walked away.

“What was that all about?” Natasha asked quietly from behind.

“A special mission within a mission I guess,” she answered. “He wants me to make sure Sitwell gets out safe.”

“Oh, maybe because he’s an officer?”

“Maybe,” Kerrigan shrugged. She knew the real reason - HYDRA officers were always first priority. 

Following Kerrigan’s lead, the reserve disembarked from the quinjet and landed on the deck. They clipped into their harnesses and repelled down the starboard bow, waiting for the signal to engage with the hostiles. The countdown began. On the final ‘one,’ everyone sprung into action, taking out their targets and breaching the galley.

Kerrigan paced up and down the rows of techs, stopping before a clean shaven officer. She extended her hand out to him, helping him to his feet.

She lead the hostages out of their holding area, and up onto the deck for extraction. Sitwell leaned in, "So you're back from Paris.”

Maintaining her position, she answered. "Yes. And my father is aware.”

"Just in time for Project Insight too.”

Her stomach dropped. Before she could respond, spotlights from another jet washed over the deck, looking for a safe place to land. Once it touched down, a recovery crew exited and began working to clean up the mess that was left behind. Kerrigan turned to the group of rescued hostages.

“I am Agent Kerrigan Oliver, Level 8 Operative. I hereby relieve you of your duties for a mandatory recovery time. S.H.I.E.L.D. has resources to help you all process this event. Please board this jet,” she pointed at the one the crews just came off of. “We will have you back to the Triskelion before sunrise.”

There was a murmur of ‘thank yous’ and a flurry of salutes as the tired techs boarded. Rumlow shook hands with Sitwell, and then they all took off.

A few stragglers from S.T.R.I.K.E. and Nat, Steve, and Kerrigan, were the last to leave the Lemurian Star. The flight was awkward in its silence, and layered in exhaustion. 

Upon their return to HQ, everyone stuffed into a conference room that did not have enough chairs to accommodate the number of individuals within. To Kerrigan’s relief, Fury kept the debriefing short. He stopped her as she was leaving.

“Here, I’ve kept her up for you.” He handed her a set of keys.

“Aw, Rex! Yes!”

He smiled. “Goodnight Kerrigan.”

She returned the send off, then went to retrieve her belongings. At the garage door, she scanned her I.D., and glared at the clock that read 2 A.M.. She practically skipped to the left side of the garage, where her shiny black motorcycle was parked. 

“Yes!” She exclaimed, confident in the fact that the garage was empty.

“Excited to ride?”

She jumped, startled by the voice. Steve Rogers moved out from the shadow of the stairwell in the corner.

“You got me Rogers!”

They both laughed.

“So this one’s yours?” He reached out and touched the handlebar of her bike. Kerrigan nodded.

“I’ve always wondered whose bike was parked next to mine. I never saw it move, but it was always kept up.”

“Fury kept an eye on it for me while I was abroad.” She began fastening her small suitcase onto the back of it. 

“Well, I just wanted to say that it was a pleasure to work with you tonight.” Steve swung his leg over his bike and put the key into the ignition. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“So my reputation precedes me?”

“That it does. Have a good night, and welcome back.” He waved as he pulled out of his parking spot, and sped out from the garage.

Kerrigan exhaled deeply, unaware that she was nearly holding her breath through the entire encounter. As if she went on auto-pilot, she started the engine and left for her apartment.


	4. Chekhov's Flashdrive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kerrigan reunites with the Winter Soldier, who definitely hasn't forgotten her.

The dust that had settled into every nook and cranny of Kerrigan’s apartment was startled earlier that day by the Pierce family house keeper, Renata. She cleaned the entire flat, and restocked groceries preparing for her return. Kerrigan was too tired to notice the faint smell of lemon cleaning solution, but unconsciously appreciated the fresh scent of fabric softener in her sheets as she collapsed into bed.

Morning came quickly and her biological clock kicked in, waking her up at eight rather than letting her sleep in. Her stomach rumbled, drawing her to the kitchen. Just as she went to pull open the fridge door, her phone rang.

"Hey Dad,"

"I sent Renata to your place last night, I figured it would be in need of a cleaning considering how long you were away," He started. She closed the fridge door and looked around.

“Yeah, thank you for that.” She poured herself a glass of orange juice, then shuffled through her suitcase for a pill bottle.

"I need you to come in today and work on the asset.”

She swallowed the pill down hard, and made a mental note to make the next batch smaller. “When and where?”

“Be at the Triskelion within the hour.” He hung up. He wasn’t a man for sentiment, especially when dealing with work.

She checked her watch. Wasting none of the 45 minutes she had to get ready, she hopped into the shower not waiting for the water to heat up. Twenty minutes later, she was out on the road.

Kerrigan scanned in at the front desk upon her arrival to the building, and grabbed an elevator for her father’s office. The ride up was uninterrupted. On the floor of the secretary’s office, Nick Fury was waiting to get on the elevator.

“Director Fury.”

“Agent Oliver.” He stepped onto the elevator. Before she could pass him, he grabbed her shoulder. “Be even more careful of who you trust. I’m pulling Hill from New York. She’s your point.”

“She knows?”

“More than you think. I trust her with my life, yours is safe with her as well.”

Kerrigan nodded, uneasy by the fact that someone other than Fury was privy to her information.

“Take this.” Fury handed her a flash drive. “This is everything I have on you. The only copy. Do with it what you may, but this is your way out.”

“Why are you giving me this?”

“My time is up. I trust you.” He stepped aside and pushed Kerrigan off the elevator. As the doors were closing, she saw him nod.

Before she could process everything she had heard, the door to her father’s office opened. Pierce swung his jacket over his shoulders.

“Come on. We have something to take care of.”

———

In the garage, he tossed her the keys to a blacked out S.H.I.E.L.D. SUV.

“You drive.”

“Where are we going?” She unlocked the doors and they both got in.

“The Bank.”

The drive was silent. Neither felt the need to talk, or to listen to one another.

Inside of the bank was layered with a musty odor, layered with hints of mechanical heat. The cracks in the floor from where the foundation continued to shift were still there, reminding Kerrigan of the cracks in her character and morals.

He lead her through the abandoned lobby and through to the vault where the Winter Soldier sat. When he noticed her enter the room, he looked more attentive.

“You’re being promoted,” Pierce told her bluntly. “The asset is growing more unpredictable since he’s closer to home, and we need someone in the field who can keep up with him. Since you are now gifted, the responsibility falls to you.”

“Thank you.” She swallowed down the realization that home in this context was synonymous with Steve Rogers, since the Winter Soldier was always housed in D.C. That made her feel ill.

A beat agent handed her a jacket, kevlar vest, mask, and googles. She suited up, but stalled putting on the mask until the last possible moment. Everyone rallied in the vault.

“Today’s target is Nick Fury. He wants to delay project Insight because of something he must’ve discovered on the Lemurian Star.”

Kerrigan had to keep her composure on the outside, but she checked out mentally. Her thoughts were a flurry of anxiety, anger, and disgust, but there was nothing she could do.

“Kay, we need you to take the asset to the rooftops, and watch everything from above. He can not get away. This is the difference between success and failure for us.” Pierce said.

“Yes sir.”

Everyone took a moment to gear up. Techs came over to dress the Winter Soldier. Kerrigan’s phone buzzed in her pocket: a phone call with an unidentified number.

“Hey Dad, I have to take this,” she pointed to her phone. “It’s for my other work.”

“Make it quick. We roll out in five.”

“Yes sir.”

Kerrigan rounded the corner into an empty office and answered the phone call.

“Hello?”

“Oliver, it’s Hill.”

“Pleasure. Not to be rude or anything, but now’s not really the best time-“

“Going on a mission for the other team?”

“Yes.” Kerrigan looked around nervously, checking to make sure she’s still alone.

“Nick’s the target,” Hill said, not asking.

“Yes,” Kerrigan replied, her voice wavering for a moment.

“He knows. He wanted me to tell you that he knows he’s being surveilled, which is why he put me in contact with you.”

“Okay.”

“He said to maintain your cover until it all falls. You have your flash drive?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Keep it close. That’s how you’re getting out of this.”

A voice called from the other room. “Little Pierce! We need to process the asset for the mission. Now.”

“I have to go. I’m sorry.” Kerrigan apologized softy into the receiver of the phone.

“I know.” Hill hung up. Kerrigan joined the rest of the squadron in the vault again.

“Soldat, up.” She commanded, standing in front of the Winter Soldier. “Maska na.” Mask on. He did as he was told.

They walked towards the back door of the bank, outside of which several fake metro police cars were parked. Kerrigan and the Winter Soldier sat in the back seat of the last suv. As the driver followed the other cars from the alley, he subtly took his right hand in hers while maintaining his gaze straight ahead. She squeezed his hand, and smiled under her mask. He hadn’t forgot what she taught him before she left for Paris. He still had his humanity.


	5. Freckles Like Constellations, Dreams Like Memories of Another Life

Kerrigan thought long and hard on the drive about how she was going to cope with the atrocity she was about to commit. She shoved back her emotions and distanced herself mentally from the person she had become, and fantasized about how different her life might be now if she hadn’t agreed to sign on to HYDRA.

The Winter Twins, or so her and Bucky had been nicknamed by Rumlow after her first infusion, were meant to watch from above. Pierce hoped to keep them in the wings, stalling the use of his favorite assets in public. His confidence in his goons was much higher than it should’ve been, seeing that Fury made it past them and was hurtling through traffic on the street below where Kerrigan and Bucky were standing.

"Pierce. You and the asset head down the street. Cut him off. Fury isn't getting away." Rumlow's voice sneered over the coms. 

“Vot.” Here. The Winter Soldier held his hand out to her. He ran across the rooftops with her, grateful that she had the capacity to keep up with him. No one had been able to before. He stopped just before the edge of the building. “Na.” On. 

Just how they had practiced in training, Kerrigan climbed onto his back. He leapt from the rooftop, catching the fire escape on the other building with his metal arm, before dropping down the two stories to the ground. Like a gentleman, he let her off his back before storming out into the street with the intent to stop Fury’s car.

The world around Kerrigan began to spin. She braced herself on the brick of the alley, and crouched down low to cover her face so she could remove her mask. The inside of her mouth tasted metallic like the blood she was used to seeing on the outside of other people. The edges of her vision were growing fuzzy, and her chest felt tight. 

“Guys, I don’t feel so good,” She blacked out there on the concrete, slumping over next to the dumpster.

After failing to catch Fury before he dipped underground, the Winter Soldier returned to the alley to find his friend, no - his handler, crumpled up on the ground. She had a pulse, and her breathing was shallow. He had no training over what to do in a situation like this, but an innate feeling to pick her up washed over him. 

Something within him was begging for him to take her and run in the opposite direction, but his programming took over. Before he started moving back to the rendezvous point, he tried to take in as many details about her as possible. The way her dark hair curled past her shoulders, the way freckles spotted her cheeks like constellations, the way she always looked like she was deep in thought, the crimson speak falling from her nose - wait that wasn’t supposed to be there. He didn’t want to lose this memory, but he knew he would. He always loses.

The first thing she felt when she started coming to was pressure behind her knees and around her shoulders. She was being carried. She fought against the thrall of unconsciousness and caught sight of familiar long brown hair and the glint of a metal arm by her face before she was sucked back under. At least he had found her and not the actual police, or God forbid Natasha or Steve.

“What happened to her?” Rumlow asked him as he laid her down in the backseat of the car next to Bucky.

“I don’t know,” he said in plain English (which still held fragments of his Brooklyn accent). “I just found her lying on the ground. No physical signs of injury.” 

Rumlow scoffed, and closed the car door. With a tap on the side of the vehicle, it drove back to the bank.

The ride back felt shorter than the ride out to the field. Bucky kept himself occupied with supporting her head and neck and wiping her face clean of the blood that came from her nose. Once they arrived, he insisted on carrying her inside himself.

“What the hell happened out there?” Demanded Alexander Pierce. His concern was placed more with the failed mission rather than his unresponsive daughter. Bucky yielded Kerrigan over to the agents approaching them. He didn’t answer Pierce.

——-

“I thought you might like this.”

Kerrigan woke to the sound of a familiar voice. She wasn’t in her apartment, or at the bank, or anywhere she recognized for that matter. Yet, it felt comfortable.

‘I must be dreaming,’ she thought. Habit had her reach for her gun, but it wasn’t there. Neither was any of her tactical gear. Rather than wearing her kevlar and work uniform, she was wearing civilian clothes - jeans and a sweater. No shoes either. She sat up from the couch she was laying on, and took in the space around her. Sun was streaming in through large open windows that were blowing billowing curtains. 

The scene felt very retro, down to the record player in which the figure of a man was standing in front of. There was a bit of static in the beginning of the song, which was normal for any vinyl. Then, the trumpets of Glenn Miller’s ‘In the Mood’ roared to life.

He turned round, looking at her. It was Bucky. His hair was shorter and styled, and he was wearing a button up shirt with trousers. It was really him, not the Winter Soldier. He extended his left hand out to her. It wasn’t metal - it was flesh.

“Dance with me, Doll,” he said, shuffling on over to her with a big grin on his face.

Kerrigan took his hand. He spun her around before pulling her close. She rested her head on his chest to hear the rhythmic beat of his heart.

She couldn’t stop looking at him. The hair, the smile on his face, the light in his eyes, it all felt so real. This is what he was supposed to look like. Whole and happy. And he was laughing. She’d never heard that before, but it sounded like warm honey.

Kerrigan wanted nothing more than for this to be real, but she knew better. This had to be a dream - life wasn’t this kind. It couldn’t be that she died either, she reasoned, because this was too perfect for Hell and that’s where she thinks she’s going. 

“So what do you think?” He asked, looking down at her.

“I’m in love,” she said softly.

“Me too. Don’t forget this.”

He spun her again, and leaned in close and just before their lips touched, Kerrigan woke with a start, back in the real world.


	6. Drugs and Other Stuff

Kerrigan lurched up from the reclined chair she had been laid down in, sputtering for air. Her chest opened up, letting fresh oxygen flood in. 

“Whoa, hey, you’re good,” Rumlow placed a consoling hand on her shoulder. “You gave us quite a scare out there. Do you remember what happened?”

Kerrigan cleared her throat. “I don’t know. One minute I was fine, the next everything went black.”

“Maybe you’re just jet lagged,” Alexander Pierce said, entering the room. “It was unfair of us to put you back in the field so soon. I just thought after the Lemurian Star, you were ready to go full speed ahead.”

She didn’t say anything back.

“I think you should take the rest of today off. Join us again tomorrow, when you’re well rested. We’ll finish the mission tonight.” 

“Finish it?” she asked.

“Fury got the slip on us, but we have an idea on where he went. Don’t trouble yourself with it, we can handle it.” The condescension in his voice was ludicrous.

“Yes sir.” Kerrigan stood up a little too quickly, causing her balance to falter and spots to plague her vision. Rumlow came to her side, offering himself as a brace.

“I’m fine, Brock. Thank you though,” she gathered herself in another room, where she changed out of her dirtied clothes and into S.H.I.E.L.D. issued gear. A dull headache settled itself behind her eyes.

Once she was a few blocks away from the bank, she located the nearest coffee shop as a place to lay low while she waited. There was a small one, on the corner of Fourth and Lex. Public enough where she wouldn’t draw attention to herself, but private enough to discuss sensitive matters without too many listening ears.

She pulled out her phone from her pocket, and called back the same number that had called her hours before.

“This is Hill.”

“Hey, its Kerrigan. Oliver. Kerrigan Oliver. Sorry.”

She could’ve sworn she heard Hill chuckle on the other end of the line.

“Whats up?” She asked, in a serious tone.

“There’s something I need to discuss with you, but it can’t be over the phone. I’m in the coffee shop at Fourth and Lex, can you meet me?”

“Give me 20 minutes.” Then she hung up. Hill wasn’t one for long telephone conversations.

Kerrigan ducked into the shop after looking behind her to make sure she wasn’t being followed. The smell of fresh roasted coffee made her smile. 

Up at the counter she ordered an Americano.

“Hey, do you work for S.H.I.E.L.D.?” The barista asked her.

Kerrigan looked down at the eagle insignia on her chest, “Oh, yeah.”

“Cool, you get a discount. All federal workers, first responders, etc get an extra percentage off. Just let us know,” he said with a smile.

“Will do.”

When the barista turned away to make her drink, she dropped a ten dollar bill in the tip jar.

After getting her drink from the bar, Kerrigan settled down at the table in the corner that provided an unobstructed view of the door to wait for Hill. It felt like the longest 20 minutes. Maria strode in and made a beeline for Kerrigan.

“It’s nice to finally meet you in person,” Kerrigan said.

“Likewise. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Kerrigan’s stomach dropped slightly as Hill continued. “More good than bad though, so don’t worry too much. What was it that you needed to tell me?”

“This is something that isn’t in my personnel file, or on the flash drive.”

“How do you know?”

“I never told anyone.” Kerrigan took a sip of her drink while scanning the room again. “I’m sick.”

Hill looked confused. “Sick, how?”

“Physically.” Kerrigan lowered her volume even more. “So you know the serum they administered me was of my own creation, right?”

Hill nodded.

“It wasn’t ready. There was only so much I could object to it without being considered insubordinate. My father said it was a gift, and that I was special for receiving it. It was after the second infusion that I started experiencing symptoms.”  
“Symptoms like what?”

“It started off with reoccurring headaches, then frequent bloody noses, aching in my bones, nasty chest rattling coughs, and so on. I anticipated it all - but nothing could prepare me for how it felt. As soon as I realized what was happening to me, I cooked up a cocktail of over the counter and pharmaceutical drugs to counteract it.”

Hill wore a sympathetic look on her face. “Wait, why are you telling me this now?”

“Its progressing. That’s why I’m not at my second job right now. I passed out in the field during the mission. My dad blames jet lag, so he sent me home to get more sleep.”

The sun began to set over D.C., turning the sky into an array of oranges and purples. Night was fast approaching.

“What can I do to help you?” Hill asked. 

“I just needed you to know.” Kerrigan coughed into the crook of her elbow.

“Okay.” Hill leaned back in her chair. “You know what, you’re coffee looks really good. I’ll be right back.”

Minutes passed while Hill was up at the counter. Before she sat back down however, she looked at her phone with a mix of surprise and sadness. 

“Nick’s been shot. He’s down,” her voice wavered. “Agent 13 has him in route to the hospital. We should go.”

The two hurried from the shop, and slid into Hill’s SUV, leaving their coffees on the table next to another sizable tip for the staff. They felt bad for leaving behind their mugs, but work came first. No, Nick came first.

————

From the moment they got in the car, to the moment the arrived at hospital, Hill was on and off the phone with evidence technicians, metro police, and Sharon Carter. Steve and Natasha beat them there, and were watching the doctors work through the window into the surgical suite. 

“Ballistics?” Natasha asked Hill.

“Three slugs, no rifling. Completely untraceable.”

“Soviet made,” Natasha said softly. Kerrigan bit the inside of her lip.

The four could only stand and watch as the surgical team made a flurry about Nick’s body. A defibrillator was attached to his chest, but it couldn’t revive him.

“Don’t do this to me, Nick,” Natasha whispered.

They could barely hear the pronunciation of time of death through the glass. Kerrigan stormed off, feeling more emotions than she had allowed herself to feel in a very long time. Hill followed her to the stairwell, where she was sitting.

“Hey, it’s okay.”  
“How can you say that? I could’ve stopped all of this from happening,” Kerrigan replied with a hushed tone of urgency.”

“Stopped what? You think this is the first time Nick’s been shot? You think he cares about that?”

“I could’ve stopped him from being murdered, if I hadn’t been such a coward.” She held her head in her hands.

“He knew what he was signing up for. He must care an awful lot about you to take that drug, its kind of a doozy,” Hill said sitting next to Kerrigan.

“What do you mean?”

“Tetrodotoxin B.”

“No, not what Banner made?”

Hill shook her head yes. “I’m going to go collect him. He has a whole underground facility that can fix him up.”

Kerrigan chuckled, wiping the tears from her eyes. “That crazy bastard.”


	7. One Too Many Surprise Guests

Recovering from the torrent of emotions she just experienced, Kerrigan ducked out of the hospital. She had just caught a glimpse Rumlow leading S.T.R.I.K.E. to escort Steve back to the Triskelion for questioning.

She wasn’t sure how long she had been in the hospital, but it had been dark when she arrived and the sun was up as she was leaving. She needed a nap, so home she went.

Her apartment was only a 20 minute walk from the hospital. On the way back, she passed her bank. An actual bank, with money inside a vault and well-dressed tellers. A symbol of liberty and trust. She had neither of those.

Kerrigan couldn’t bring herself to go inside, but she stopped outside at the ATM to withdraw as much cash as she could - which she learned was $500 at a time. The thick envelope of cash was folded awkwardly and stuck in her jacket pocket as she maneuvered her way back to her apartment.

As soon as she got back, she dropped the envelope on the counter and ransacked her suitcase for a bottle. She shook it. It was nearly empty, there was maybe enough for another week. She dry swallowed one down, then shed herself of her clothes and hopped in bed.

Five hours later, she woke to a hard knock at the door. Kerrigan reached for her phone and read 36 missed calls and 24 text messages. She scrambled to throw on the pants from earlier and get to the door. It was Rumlow.

“Oh, sorry did I just wake you?” He tried not to chuckle at her sleepy and slightly disheveled appearance.

“Yeah, its fine, come in,” she kicked the lid of her suitcase closed as she opened the door wider for him to enter.

He paced, taking in her apartment until his eyes settled on the conspicuous envelope on her counter.

“Can I get you anything? I’m freshly stocked?” She asked him while starting a pot of coffee for herself.

“I’m okay,” he cleared his throat. “I actually have some news. Last night’s mission was successful. Fury is dead.”

Kerrigan took a deep breath. For once, she was a half step ahead. “I understand.”

“It’s a shame, he was a good guy.”

“Yeah.” She couldn’t make eye contact with him. Instead, she stared into the coffee pot that was now filling up. He moved closer to her. Uncomfortably close.

“Have you ever thought about getting out?”

_Shit._ Was he baiting her? What did he know? She turned to look him dead in the eye.

“Don’t talk like that, Brock. Its unfathomable to even imagine a life without the gifts Hydra has given us both.” She recoiled internally at her own words.

“Shit, yeah, you’re right. Forget I said anything.” He touched the back of his neck sheepishly. Rumlow was a bad actor. His demeanor changed quickly to suspicion, glancing to the bank envelope and suitcase. “Going somewhere?”

“Nope, still haven’t unpacked from France,” she responded easily. “I still have some cash left over that I took to the bank to have converted back to American greens.”

The tension released from both of their shoulders. Neither wanted to catch the other in a compromising position“Anyway, are you up for a mission? It crosses state borders so I can’t take the whole Reserve.”

Kerrigan poured herself a cup of coffee. “I’m intrigued.”

“Rogers and Romanoff are a threat to Project Insight. Somehow Fury got information to them before he was silenced. We’re following them with orders to capture them dead or alive. Are you in?”

She only had a split second to think - but her mind drew blanks. Thankfully her stomach had something to say. Without warning she made for the bathroom, barely having enough time to get the toilet seat up before her gut emptied its contents. Espresso doesn’t taste great a second time.

“Oh, geez, I’m sorry, uh.” Even in her current state, Kerrigan found it funny how Rumlow was so easily flustered by the sound of someone throwing up, even when he’s made more kill shots to count. “I’ll take that as a no. I’ll see myself out.”

She heard the door closing as she flushed. From her bedroom window, she watched him shaking his head no towards an unmarked SUV with tinted windows.

_What did Natasha get herself into?_ Kerrigan fished around for her phone and found that only the 35 calls were from Rumlow and other Hydra agents. One was from Natasha. Kerrigan never pressed buttons on her phone so fast.

Natasha, who was sitting in a truck with her feet up on the dash, was semi-startled by her phone ringing. _She was on the run - who would be calling her?_ Kerrigan.

“Hey Kay, now’s not a great time,” Natasha said taking the call.

“Where are you?”

“I’m in the car, why?”

“Who are you talking to?” Steve said from the background.

Natasha covered the receiver with her hand. “Its just Kerrigan,”

Steve reached over and took Nat’s phone from her, and proceeded to throw it out the window. The line went dead.

“What the hell Rogers?” Nat yelled.

“We can’t trust anyone. Not anymore.” He replied looking straight ahead at the New Jersey sunset.

————-

Kerrigan paced in her room while the sun set cast colorful streaks of oranges and reds around the city. _What could she do?_ She needed to do something.

She put herself together and decided to go to the Triskelion. She drove as fast as her bike could take her. Out of a nervous habit, she kept checking her zipped pocket at every red light to make sure she still had her flash drive stowed safely away.

Everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters was too preoccupied with the Captain America manhunt, that Kerrigan was able to slip in undetected. She kept her head down as she got onto the elevator that didn’t have the “out of order” sign on it.

“Director’s office.”

“Credentials?” The elevator prompted.

“Oliver-Pierce, Kerrigan I. Level 8.”

“Confirmed.”

She thought it odd that the elevator was letting her up to the floor. It should’ve been locked down for whatever false investigation her father was leading. Maybe Fury gave her special access.

The hallway leading up to Fury’s office was dark. Only the storm lights (which were always on) lit the walkway. Every footstep she took echoed as she approached the key pad on Fury’s door. She only had to think for a moment what the code could be. She pressed 2-5-1-7. Fury loved his Tarantino movies.

Fury’s office was just as dim as the hall. It looked like it had been ransacked - papers littered his desk and the floor. Hopefully whoever was in here didn’t find what they were looking for.

“Secure Office,” a voice came out from the shadows.

Kerrigan turned, pulling her gun from its holster. Then, she lowered it.

“Jesus Hill, you scared the shit out of me.”

Maria Hill emerged from the shadows and stowed her gun. Kerrigan also tucked hers away. They could never be too careful now.

“Sorry about that.”

“How’s Fury?” Kerrigan asked, moving into the moonlit area of the room.

“He’s fine. He sent me to pick up some stuff from here, and for me to give this to you.” Hill handed her an envelope. “Don’t open it here, wait till you get back home.”

“Huh,” Kerrigan chuckled. “I hope its not anthrax.”

“I don’t think it is, but you never know,” Hill smiled. “I think its a name and an address. Sensitive information.”

Kerrigan nodded.

“Hill, report,” a voice came from her walkie-talkie. “We have an update on Rogers.”

“On my way,” she said back. “You better get going, I assume you didn’t want anyone seeing you here tonight.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Kerrigan tucked the envelope in another pocket and left Hill in Fury’s office.

Kerrigan felt like the motorcycle ride back to her place was eons longer than the ride there had been. So much was weighing on her - excitement most of all. Fury had sent her a mission. Something she could do to make herself feel useful. Her self discipline was impeccable - she waited until she got into the door to even touch the envelope.

Once safely inside, she opened it. There was a singular piece of paper that read "Tomorrow. Sam Wilson. 1224 Glenn Avenue. -NF"

"Who the hell is Sam Wilson?" She asked herself.


	8. Three's a Party, Four's a Crowd.

There wasn’t much Kerrigan could do between tonight and tomorrow, so she resigned to tidying up her apartment before going to sleep. God, it felt good for her to put a load of clothes into the washer and to put her suitcase back in the closet. She looked at it, fighting the urge to pack it again and get the hell out of dodge. But she had a job to finish. And someone to save other than herself.

Kerrigan kept toying with the thought of leaving while she was cleaning, to the point where she started taking pictures out of their frames and stashing them in a small box.

“Wait, what am I even doing?” she asked herself out loud. Conflicted didn’t even begin to cover how she felt. But her frames remained empty, and her photos in the box. She shouldn’t have had that cup of coffee earlier. It was going on midnight, and she couldn’t sleep.

She scrunched up in the corner of her couch with a blanket and a book. Catch-22 felt fitting for this week. However, she made it as far as, “It was love at first sight,” before her eyes fluttered shut. Her sleep was anything but dreamless.

———-

_Her Bucky walked through the front door of the apartment and placed a stack of mail on the counter. He grabbed a cup of coffee from the pot she didn’t remember making and shook a spoon of sugar into it. Domestic tranquility._

_“What are you listening to?”_

_Kerrigan took out an earbud and offered it to him. He took it and sat next to her on the couch. She moved closer, and curled up next to him, with her head on his left shoulder._

**_“Weep for yourself, my man,_ **

**_You'll never be what is in your heart_ **

**_Weep little lion man,_ **

**_You're not as brave as you were at the start_ **

**_Rate yourself and rake yourself,_ **

**_Take all the courage you have left_ **

**_Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head.”_ **

_The acoustic guitar was soft in their ears. Everything was soft in that moment- the sun shining through the window, his skin under his soft sweater, her heartbeat - soft and rhythmic. Home._

**_“But it was not your fault but mine_ **

**_And it was your heart on the line_ **

**_I really fucked it up this time_ **

**_Didn't I, my dear?”_ **

_“You did.” He said, the tone of his voice turned empty._

_Suddenly the room was darker. His shoulder grew cold and weary and metal. Thunder rumbled from beyond the horizon. Bucky’s steel blue eyes pierced her soul._

_“How are you going to fix me?”_

Falling off the couch wasn’t a fun way to wake up, but Kerrigan was grateful to be free of the nightmare.Her blanket was strewn across the other side of the couch and the book with it. She missed cutting her head open on the couch side table by an inch. It was still dark out but the sunrise was imminent. The clock read 5:42 a.m. Her sleep schedule was messed up.

Her heart was still racing in her chest, so going back to sleep wasn’t an option. She figured it was way too early to pay the mystery man a visit, so she settled on going for a run across the Capitol. She felt good enough to anyway, between the extra sleep she had in the last two days and the dream adrenaline she was just dosed with.

Running had always been something she could rely on to clear her mind, since she was in high school. The four laps mandated by her ROTC officer were a breeze. One of the few plus sides she considered from the serum was her increased endurance - she could run for hours without breaking a sweat.

She threw on a clean shirt and some shorts and after tying her sneakers, she set off for the national mall.

It only took her ten minutes to reach the Reflecting Pool. The streets were empty as the sun came up, and she was about to pass her first person, so she called out “on your left,” as a warning.

“Hey wait, did Rogers put you up to that?”

Kerrigan stopped in her tracks, “Excuse me?”

“Sorry,” he chuckled. “I have a running buddy that always says that as he laps me, but I haven’t seen him in a few days - I just thought you might’ve known him, since he makes a point to call out ‘on your left’ overtime he laps me.”

“Oh,” she laughed nervously.

“I’m Sam Wilson,” he offered his hand. She took it and smiled. He seemed like nice guy. Atlas Fury wasn’t sending her into hostile territory - though she couldn’t be entirely sure. She knew all about pretending to be something she isn’t.

“I’m Kerrigan Oliver.”

“Nice to meet you.” He gave no indication that he recognized her name.

“Ditto. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around, Sam.” She saluted him an carried on her way. She was mindful of her pace - if he had run with the Rogers, he might recognize how she didn’t need to stop to take a breath or how her pace was unrivaled.

Though he found the encounter odd, he shrugged it off and continued on his way. The only thing that troubled him was how she saluted - it spelled military background to him, or at least someone who worked around soldiers. He brushed it off.

Back in her apartment, she was quick to get ready. Her target was already awake, and time was ticking. She had no idea what she was supposed to do. _Why did Fury have to be so cryptic?_

When she closed her eyes in the shower, glimpses of Barnes came back to her. A mix of the Winter Soldier and the clean cut man she dreams about. _How are you going to fix me? How are you going to fix me? How are you going to fix me? How are you going to fix me?_ The message echoed in her head, growing more urgent each time. How was she going to fix him?

Kerrigan’s heart fluttered low in her chest as she straddled her motorbike. She ran her hands over the engraving on the gas tank - _Rex_. Her mom made a point, before her untimely death, to give things names. If something has a name, it has meaning. A purpose. An identity. Most of everything deserved a name. She revved the engine and kicked off, starting towards the address Fury wrote down for her.

————

The house before her was a type of small town cute that could only exist in a city. All the curtains had been drawn. It seemed isolated. Like it was hiding something within. The mailbox next to which she parked her bike said ‘Wilson’ in faded lettering. _This was Sam’s house._ She approached the door with trepidation and knocked with an unsteady hand.

A minute passed before she saw the blinds on the door lift, and an eye looking out at her. The door opened slowly. Sam stepped infant of it, holding it partly open but in a way that made it hard to see behind it.

“Hey, sorry, this is probably difficult to explain,” she stuttered.

“It’s Kerrigan, right?” he asked. She nodded.

Before either could say any more, the door whipped open. Steve held his shield up while Natasha held a gun, its barrel pointed at Kerrigan’s heart.

Kerrigan put her hands up slowly, not wanting to accidentally provoke Natasha’s trigger finger.

“How did you find us?” Nat asked, her voice calm as ever.

“I didn’t even know you were here!” Kerrigan said, bewildered at the scene unfolding.

“Bullshit. Answer the question,” Steve said, furrowing his brow.

Sam looked confused as ever, continually looking between the girl on his front step and the two inside. “Guys, I want to avoid a scene, because I actually like living here, can we bring it inside?”

Nat tilted her head, indicating for Kerrigan to come in. She didn’t lower her gun.

“Sit down.” Steve gestured to the couch, keeping the shield at his side. “Now, how’d you find us?”

“Fury sent me the address! I didn’t know you were here, I swear.”

“Fury’s dead.” Nat said.

“I swear to you, he isn’t. Trust me,” Kerrigan drew out, confident in her words.

“Trust you?” Nat scoffed. “The entire time I knew you, you’ve been working for Hydra, right? Everyone on S.T.R.I.K.E. is Hydra, right?”

Kerrigan took a deep breath. “Yes.”

Then it hit her - why she was here, what she was supposed to with the flash drive.

“I have something I need you to see. It’s in my inside jacket pocket.”

She slowly moved her hands to unzip it. Her hands shook with anxiety. This was unlike any mission she had completed before. This time she was coming clean about herself, and it was nerve-wracking. If now was an appropriate time to laugh, she probably would have. _She was a world class covert agent, and she was getting nervous talking to her friends?_

The flash drive felt heavy in her hand.

“Fury made it. It’s all about me, my get out of jail free card if you will.”

Natasha looked at her skeptically.

“Everything you would want to know - my medical records, my work with Hydra, I think even my ACT scores. It’s all there.” She turned the drive over in her hand.

“How do we know that it’s not going to activate some sort of tracker and bring Hydra down on us?” Steve asked.

“I’m telling you, Fury made it. It’s just got files on it, from what I understand. He told me it was my way out, but I don’t want one. I need to face the consequences for what I did. I trust you guys to do what you think is right.”

“What about Hydra?” Steve pressed. “What can you tell us?”

“Start here,” she held out the drive for Natasha to take. “But if you want to talk to someone, start with Sitwell. He’s the weakest link.”

“Why can’t we start with you?” Steve lowered his shield to ask.

“Because,” Kerrigan took advantage of Natasha’s slow contemplation of the drive by grabbing the barrel of the gun and ripping it out of her hand. It was an effective trade - Nat had the flash drive, and now Kerrigan was holding a gun to the three of them.

“I’m not going to be here for you to ask,” she finished her sentence. Kerrigan started backing towards the door. The trio didn’t move. “I’m really sorry.”

With lightning speed, she clicked the safety of the gun on, tucked it in her waist band, and ran out the front door.

“What the hell just happened?” Sam asked. Steve ran towards the door, but only caught sight of her speeding down the street on her bike. Natasha stood in awe.

“Steve,” Natasha called to him. “She’s desperate.”

“Let’s find out why,” Steve lead the way from the front sitting room to the dining room where Sam was already getting his laptop out.

“If this puts some sort of virus on my laptop, I’m billing y’all,” Sam said as Steve inserted the drive.


	9. The Weakest Link

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi - just a note that Kerrigan never read the flash drive Fury gave her. She just held on to it. I'll explain more about that in the next chapter, but its important to know that she has not seen the contents of the drive.

Nat spent the next hour or so sifting through the files on the drive. Some of it she already knew, like “ _triple majored at MIT, graduated summa cum laude_ ,” and, “ _proficient with firearms, black belt in Tae kwando.,”_ but some things stuck out to her like , “ _fluent in English, American Sign Language, Spanish, French, German, Romanian, and Russian,”_ and that her true last name was Pierce. That explained why Fury called her that before the Lemurian Star. _Alexander Pierce was her father._ One word bothered her even more. “Enhanced.”

The boys left to go collect Sam’s exo-suit, so she had no one to consult about the file she just opened: Project Renaissance. Every time she tried to call Kerrigan, it went straight to voice mail. There was nothing she could do but to read.

**_Project Renaissance started with the research development of K. Pierce with the long lost super soldier serum. Administered in a series of four infusions, subject K.P. was transformed. Physically stronger, but with little difference to her height or weight. This makes for an edge - targets will not expect her to hold as much as she can._ **

That was explanation enough for Natasha, how Kerrigan had gotten the drop on her and was able to force the gun from her hand - _she was strong like Steve_. Natasha continued to scroll through. “The Testimony,” was the next thing she clicked. It was an audio file, date stamped the day before Kerrigan left for Paris. She pressed play, and heard Kerrigan’s voice play out into the open air:

**_“My father, Alexander Pierce, recruited me for Hydra at the same time I was recruited for S.H.I.E.L.D.. He insisted I take both positions, and that I was, ‘doing the world’s work.’ I was just out of college, majorly in debt since I tripled - what was I thinking? - so I took both. He wanted to utilize my physical skill set as well as my education. He put my expertise in brain/ cognitive sciences to use with a project he called ‘The Asset.’ I didn’t know it was him.”_ **

There was a pause in her speech, Kerrigan had started to cry.

“ ** _It was so sick, what they turned him into. He was a war hero reduced to a plaything for Hydra. But I set my emotion aside and did my work. Helped condition him, train him, everything.”_**

Another pause.

**_“He remembers things from his past, sometimes. I remind him not to say anything to anyone else - they’ll wipe his memory again if he admits it. I keep telling them that the machine is doing more damage than good, but they don’t care.”_ **

**_“What did he remember?”_** Fury’s voice asked.

**_“His name. Bucky.”_ **

The file ended there. There was probably a part two, but Natasha didn’t want to look for it. She couldn’t stand to hear Kerrigan confessing through her tears. She continued scrolling through the flash drive and found a folder titled “I’m sorry you had to find out this way.” Intrigued, she clicked into it.

**_Kerrigan, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry. You’ve been lied to - for almost a decade. Your mother’s car crash was no accident. I’m afraid she was onto your father, much like I am now, and he needed to silence her._ **

**_I’d only briefly met Helena at a S.H.I.E.L.D. conference the year before her death. She seemed upstanding, and glowed when she spoke of her two daughters. Jordyn had already been in college studying her politics, and you were in your sophomore year of high school. Even then she said you’d do great things._ **

Natasha stopped reading for a moment. Her heart fell in her chest; she never knew that Kerrigan’s mom had died. Hell, she thought her parents weren’t in the picture, considering how Kerrigan never spoke of them. Now she realized why.

**_I found this file buried within HYDRA intel I found on the Lemurian Star. I’m short on time writing this, so forgive me if its blunt. On the night of August 9, 2003, Helena had gathered enough evidence to convict your father of murder, conspiracy, and treason. She intended to take it to the FBI, but Alexander found out. He sent the Winter Soldier to murder her, recollect the evidence, and dress the scene to make it look like an accident._ **

**_Your father murdered your mother._ **

**_I’m sorry you had to find out this way._ **

**_-Nick_ **

Natasha closed the computer screen and sat back in her chair. Everything about the whole situation just got flipped on its head. Before she had time to process anything else, a key in the back door clicked, and Sam and Steve walked back in carrying a large box.

“So what’d you find out?” Steve asked, locking the door behind them.

“Lots of personal stuff.” She said as she removed the flash drive from the computer. “All this told me was her origin story. She did work for Hydra at first, but she flipped. She’s on our side.”

“If she’s on our side, then why did she run?” Steve asked.

“She’s scared.” Nat said. “And she’s enhanced.”

That earned her a confused look from both men.

“Enhanced?” Sam asked.

“It sounds like Hydra had a Project Rebirth of their own, called Project Renaissance. I knew she was smart, but not like this - she recreated Erskine’s formula, I think. Or she got close. The details were a bit foggy, but she’s definitely stronger.”

“But she’s not built,” Steve started, “like me..”

“That’s part of it. It wasn’t an exact replica, so she didn’t hit a sudden growth spurt,” Nat explained. “All that aside, I still think Sitwell’s our best shot at more information about what Hydra is up to.”

“Then let’s go get him,” Steve said definitively.

——

Kerrigan rode around town, trying to clear her head. She hated that she pulled a weapon on the people she trusted most, but she had no other choice. Her phone rang in her pocket, distracting her from her thoughts. It was Rumlow.

“Hey Pierce, how are you feeling?”

“Cut the formalities, Rumlow. What do you need?” She didn’t have the patience to be buttered up. Not today. She heard him take a deep breath.

“We’re taking the Asset out today and we need you in the field.”

“I’ll be there. Give me ten minutes.”

She hung up.

In the bank, the Winter Soldier sat in his chair. An I.V. drained fluids into his body, while a technician made adjustments to his plated arm. Kerrigan walked in and stood next to his chair. The sight of him so subdued was off putting, but she shoved her dream to the back of her mind. She couldn’t afford to think about him like that now.

“Sitwell’s been taken.” Rumlow said.

Kerrigan smiled on the inside. They listened to her. The light at the end of the tunnel was approaching. She could be free soon enough.

“Top priority is to dispose of him,” he continued, before getting louder. “Let him serve as an example for anyone who thinks they want to spill classified information to our enemies.” His gaze landed on Kerrigan, but then he quickly looked away.

“He’s with Roger’s and Romanoff. Whether he was taken against his will, or went of his own volition - it doesn’t matter. He’s a dead man. Next priority is them.”

The Winter Soldier is taking in every one of Rumlow’s words. This is his mission. He can’t fail. He’s nervous, though. But the hand of his handler resting on his shoulder provided him with a strange sense of security. _She_ was never rough with him like _they_ were. _She_ never hurt him like _they_ did. _She_ wasn’t like _them_ , yet _she_ was there with _him_. _Strange_.

“We want Rogers and Romanoff captured only. Too many eyes,” Alexander Pierce said. “We don’t want to make them martyrs. They are to be executes outside of the view of the public.”

Kerrigan tensed up at the idea of those two being murdered. The Winter Soldier could feel how her hand grew heavy at the notion - it was almost imperceptible, but his senses were in overdrive. Something wasn’t right here.

A technician called out from a computer, “I got a hit. They’re driving down the Causeway, northbound. Looks like they’re headed for the Triskelion. I’m reading four heat signatures in the car though, not three.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Rumlow said. “Anyone who’s in our way, either surrenders or dies. Move out!”

Everyone scrambled for their positions. Kerrigan stood the Winter Soldier up and tightened his vest. The entire time she was “listening” to the mission plan, she was thinking of something she could say to him. Anything that might make him off center. Something that would help to wake him up. She read about it in a book about the Howling Commandos. She leaned in close like she was saying a goodbye, so that only he could hear, “don’t do anything stupid until I get back.”

It took him a moment. Confused nostalgia warped Bucky’s head. He didn’t know how he knew how to respond to that. But, it quickly and quietly rolled off his tongue.

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.”


	10. The Defector

Bucky was absent in the car. He sat next to Kerrigan, but he was so far in the back of his mind digging for answers he didn’t know he had that it took two prompts from Kerrigan to illicit a reaction. The black SUV they were in the backseat of was speeding down the Causeway quickly approaching the target. He stopped thinking. He started moving.

Kerrigan watched from her window as Bucky landed on top and flung Sitwell from the backseat to the grill of semi-truck. Then he fired into the he car he was on top of. She could only hope that he would hit upholstery instead of flesh. Suddenly, the her vehicle lurched to a stop - her cue. She got out and was handed weaponry by her field ‘manager.’ As if he could manage her. She covered the other half of the free way, shooting at Natasha as she ran, intentionally missing. 

“I got her!” Kerrigan yelled to the HYDRA crew as she took off after Natasha. She flung herself over the edge and grabbed onto Nat’s grappling hook line. As she landed, it took her no time to grab onto Nat and pull her behind a car before she ran out from under the overpass.

Kerrigan pulled her googles onto her forehead and remove her mask from under her vest. 

“You read the drive, yes?”

“Yes, wait what the hell is going on?” Nat asked.

“There’s not much time now. Just get his mask off. Whatever you have to do. Do you trust me?” Kerrigan spoke quickly.

“Yes.” The two exchanged quick smiles.

“Do exactly as I say. Run out from that direction - He’s waiting for you from up above. Leave him decoys. Force him to think. Get his mask off. Incapacitate but don’t kill him, please.”

“Okay, run make decoys, mask off, and don’t kill the guy who is trying to kill us? Got it. Anything else?”

“We’re going to be shooting at you. I won’t hit you, I promise, but as far as anyone else goes, I can’t make any guarantees.”

“Oh of course,” Nat smirked. “Flying bullets. That’s the best part of the job.” 

Kerrigan helped Nat to her feet. “Go now. I’ll explain more later.” She restored her mask and goggles and set off towards the right side, while Nat ran for the left.

Natasha kept what Kerrigan said in mind, but had another plan of her own. Keeping his shadow in her sights, she pulled her side arms and shot directly up at him. A hit. The Winter Soldier’s goggles were no more. 

Before she could react, the Winter Soldier dropped onto a car from above. “Shesterki.” Sixes. He called out to her. They moved into a patrolling stance, him leading and her following in the direction of Natasha’s decoy - watching each other’s six. Maybe they should’ve had a tactic they called 3-9, as in watch the sides too. Neither of them saw Natasha until it was too late. She took a running leap off a car and was straddling his shoulders. In the process, she kicked Kerrigan, knocking her to the ground.

Her Widow’s wire was wrapped around his neck in a desperate attempt to dislodge his mask. Kerrigan dusted herself off and pulled Nat from his shoulders effortlessly- shrugging as a ‘sorry but I can’t let you win that easy for sake of maintaining my cover’ notion. Kerrigan hoped she understood. 

Natasha unleashed a disk from her arsenal and whipped it at the Soldier’s metal arm, disabling it temporarily while she made her get away. He snapped it off as he watched her red head run. A familiar red. He shook the nostalgic feeling off, refocusing at the mission at hand. He lifted the barrel of his gun and shot. A soviet slug with no rifling passed through her left shoulder, bringing Natasha to the ground. After he saw her fall, he turned his attention to Steve.

Kerrigan rushed to her side. Natasha was gasping in pain, but applying pressure on her own. 

“Let me see.” Kerrigan said. “Let me see!” Natasha moved her hand. Kerrigan replaced it with hers. She leaned Natasha forward and gave the wound a once over. It was a through and through - but there was too much bleeding. 

“Keep pressure on it. Can you stand?”

Nat moved her hand back over the bullet wound and got up, bracing herself on the car behind her. This will all be over… soon. Do whatever you have to do, I heal fast. ”

She added that last word when she saw Bucky’s mask hit the ground. The entirety of the field was quiet - you could hear a pin drop.

“Bucky?”

“Who the hell is Bucky?”

Bucky paused. He thought. He remembered. Fleeting moments. A skinny blonde boy. Coney Island. The Cyclone. They were spinning. They were dizzy with happiness. Then the war. The shield. The train. The blonde was bigger now, and he was screaming. Bucky! It was all too much for him. He lifted his gun and was ready to pull the trigger.

Sam flew down from the bridge, kicking Buck across the street. Kerrigan ran for him, helping him to his feet before launching his next attack. Nat struck first, blowing up another vehicle. The explosion covered how the two fled into an alley, waiting for extraction, but not before sending small shards of glass into the left side of Kerrigan’s face through her mask. Rumlow led the S.T.R.I.K.E. team in their swarm around Natasha, Steve, and Sam. 

Kerrigan watched as they were cuffed, before turning back to the Winter Soldier who was pulling at his metal arm. Steve had dented the back side of his bicep, causing the plates to get stuck.

“Are you okay?” She asked him. He just looked at her, so confused. The terror behind his eyes sent a knife plunging through her heart. “Go back to base. I’ll see you on the other side.”

She turned the corner and dropped her shredded mask, goggles, and vest, effectively blending in with the rest of the Reserve. She felt, with a shaking hand, the damage that was done. Her skin was on fire, and left her fingers stained red. However, she carried on. He watched as she boarded the same vehicle with that strangely familiar blonde man and the strangely familiar red haired girl. 

———-

Kerrigan closed the door to the SUV and sat next to Steve. He wouldn’t have been her first choice, but it was the only open seat. The three were obviously conversing before she got there. Now all that was left was awkward silence, until Sam noticed Nat’s shoulder was still oozing a crimson stream.

“We need to get a doctor here. If we don’t put pressure on that wound, she’s going to bleed out here in the truck.”

Suddenly, one of the guards revealed an electric rod and held it up, then struck the other guard with it, knowing them out. The guard neutralized the wand, then pulled off her helmet.

“That thing was squeezing my brain.” She did a visual sweep over everyone until her eyes landed on Sam. “Who’s this guy?” 

The SUV started moving. Hill tossed Kerrigan the laser pen so she could start cutting apart Steve’s restraints. He never made eye contact with her, and kept his jaw clenched shut. 

“Where are we going?” Natasha asked Kerrigan.

“Probably some side road off the beaten path,” she said, still working on releasing Steve. She cut through the metal around his midsection and wrists, and was now working on his ankles. 

“What’s there?” Sam asked as Hill undid his and Natasha’s restraints.

“Three holes in the ground, most likely. Four if they realized I defected. They’ll ditch this car and stage it to look like an accident.”

“That wouldn’t be the first time that happened to someone related to Pierce.” Natasha mumbled.

“What did you say?” Kerrigan said, looking up at her.

“Did you not read the drive Fury gave you?”

“No Nat, why would I need to reread every terrible thing I’ve done, and what’s been done to me?”

Nat rested her head back against the tinted window. “Fury wrote you a note. He found a buried file about what happened to you Mom, how she really died.”

“It wasn’t a car accident like they said it was, was it?” Kerrigan asked, piecing the events together.

“No. I’m so sorry.”

Steve relaxed his jaw. The whole time he was thinking about how much he’d like to wring Kerrigan by the neck because she knew, he never considered what she might’ve lost too. 

“You’re all set,” Kerrigan said softly to Steve as he stretched out. 

Hills tracker beeped, “Alright, we’re getting close to the drop point.” She took the laser from Kerrigan and began working at the floor. “I’ve got a car set up close to go to a secure location.”

They followed Hill’s lead as she lowered herself through the hole she made, and onto the pavement beneath the moving vehicle. Once they were all out, the crawled to the side of the road, and luckily weren’t seen. When Rumlow would open the back door, he would be filled with rage.

“Come on, it’s this way.” Hill led them through a wooded area and out to another side road where a car was parked. There was a sign at the start of the lane that read “Private Property. Do Not Enter.” They got inside - Hill wasted no time driving down the road at top speeds until they reached the Fury’s secret facility.

A doctor met them at the door ready to treat Natasha and Kerrigan, but Hill held him off. “’They’ll want to see him first.”

The doc lead them down a dark hallway and through a series of doors into a makeshift medical center. He pulled back the curtains to a room where a tired man laid in bed, connected to tubes and wires. He smiled, crinkling the skin around his one good eye.

“About damn time.”


	11. The Fall.

For the first time after a mission, the Winter Soldier felt confused. The events felt foggy to him. The only thing that was clear was the man on the bridge. He kept seeing that man in the back of his mind as he boarded a HYDRA vehicle and was sent back to the bank. 

He sat back in his chair and let the other handlers and technicians take care of his arm that had been damaged in battle. There was nothing he could do but sit back and relax. But he didn’t know how to relax, so he listened. He could hear Rumlow yelling in the other room.

“Where the hell is she?”

An unknown voice replied, “I don’t know sir.”

“Damn it. Damn it! I knew this would happen. I knew she was unreliable. A traitor!” Rumlow slammed his hand down on something hard.

The Winter Soldier’s mind wandered - she wouldn’t leave him. Not alone with them. But then reality set in. She had left before, for months. Left him behind at the hands of Pierce and his goons. But she came back. She always came back. His mind wandered further, back farther than he knew existed.

“Sergeant Barnes, the procedure has already started,” A short man with a round face and thick German accent was standing over him as a saw cut through what was left of his arm. He felt it again, the searing pain he had felt back then. “You are to be the new fist of Hydra,” the man said. 

He looked down and saw his metal hand, and flexed his fingers. It was real. He pulled away from the techs and say forward in his chair. His heart beat in his chest. Ba-dum. Ba-dum.

“Sir, he’s unstable. Erratic,” the tech told Alexander Pierce as he walked into the vault. 

Pierce approached his asset, whose face was void of any emotion. “Mission report.”

The asset said nothing.

“Mission report, now.”

Silence.

Pierce struck him across the face, snapping him out of his flashback.

“The man on the bridge. Who was he?” his mind went back to that man. He called him Bucky. He knew him. 

“You met him earlier this week on an assignment.” Pierce sat in front of him.

“I knew him.”

“Your work has been a gift to man kind…” Pierce kept talking, trying to take him mind off his old war buddy. Bucky stopped listening. He kept thinking about his handler - where was she? Then it dawned on him. He was stupid. He shouldn’t have said anything about the man on the bridge. Now she wasn’t here to save him.

A tech shoved the mouth guard into his mouth and pushed him back in his chair. Metal restraints wrapped around his extremities and mid section. The machine clicked and lowered. He could hear himself screaming, but Bucky stopped feeling.

———-

“We have to stop the launch,” Natasha said as the doctor patched up her shoulder. Kerrigan had already removed the pieces of glass from her skin, which were luckily large enough to see in a mirror and could be removed with tweezers. The wounds were already healing quickly, but she realized she would probably have some wicked scars. 

“I don’t think the council is accepting my calls anymore.” Fury joked.

“But they might accept mine,” Kerrigan interrupted. “I worked a private security detail for Councilwoman Hawley. She’s not Hydra, and she’s also not my father’s biggest fan.”

Fury nodded.

“Father?” Steve asked curiously. 

“My last name isn’t Oliver. It’s Pierce.”

The realization washed over him, but before he could respond, Kerrigan had left the room with her phone in hand. He could just barely make out, “Hi, Councilwoman Hawley? This is Agent Oliver of S.H.I.E.L.D.”

Minutes passed. Fury and the rest of their team discussed how to disable the helicarriers while Kerrigan explained the severity of the HYDRA infestation to the Councilwoman. 

Kerrigan emerged from the side room. “She agreed. Gear up, let’s move.”

Fury and Hill packed up their operations and prepared for the haul to the Triskelion. Before Kerrigan left however, the doctor approached her and handed her two full pill bottles. There was no label on either.

“Fury told me about your problem, so I had these made for you discreetly. They should help.” 

Kerrigan pocketed the bottles and made a mental note that if she wanted something kept from Fury, not to tell Hill. She was grateful though.

“Thank you Doctor…”

“Russo. Doctor Joe Russo at your service.”

They shook hands.

“Oliver, come on!” Hill called from the car.

“I’d better go.”

He grabbed her arm as she was turning around.

“I folded up a phone number in the top of one of the bottles. Call when you need a refill, or if you need anything else.” He let go.

“Thank you.”

She walked away hastily, and ducked into Hill’s vehicle. They drove away, leaving the secret hideout behind.

“Can we go over the plan again?” Kerrigan asked.

“Sure. Hill, Sam, and I are going to the communications tower to broadcast our message. Then Sam and I are going to get on the helicarriers to swap our chips,” Steve started as he pulled his cowl into place. He had just returned from the Smithsonian after Kerrigan suggested wearing his old suit to jog Bucky’s memory. 

“Since the helicarriers aren’t unmanned, I have to monitor them remotely and report back,” Hill said keeping her eyes on the road.

“Natasha is using a photo veil to impersonate Councilwoman Hawley. She’ll be our in to the World Security Council office, and the one to release everything online,” he continued. “Fury’s on standby in a copter. That’s our extraction plan. Where do you want to go?” he asked Kerrigan.

“I’m going to go in to the launch center and keep my head down. Rumlow shouldn’t risk outing me, or himself for that matter.” Just then, her phone buzzed. It was a data frequency she recognized all too well.

Out of the Shadows. Into the Light.

“Actually change of plans,” Kerrigan said. “The Uprising is starting. Hydra agents are coming out.”

“What does that mean for us?” Natasha asked.

“Nothing, you all keep to your plans. I just have to come up with something a bit different.” 

The rest of the drive was silent and thick with nervous anticipation. They checked their comms, and were ready to roll. 

“Can you drop me off by the front?” Kerrigan asked.

“Sure. What are you going to do?” Hill replied.

“I’m stepping out of the shadows and into the light. I’m just going to walk in the front doors.”

Hill dropped Kerrigan off at the front door, then drove away to the east lot. 

“Alright, I’m going in.” Kerrigan stepped inside, maintaining a confident posture and walking briskly to the launch control room. She identified several S.T.R.I.K.E. members watching from above and in the corners of the room near the exits. They paid her a nod. She returned the gesture. 

Techs were busy typing away at their computers preparing for the launch of Project Insight when Steve came over the intercoms:

“Attention, all SHIELD agents. This is Steve Rogers. You've heard a lot about me over the last few days, some of you were even ordered to hunt me down. But I think it's time you know the truth. SHIELD is not what we thought it was, it's been taken over by HYDRA. Alexander Pierce is their leader. The STRIKE and Insight crew are HYDRA as well.”

A pause.

“I don't know how many more, but I know they're in the building. They could be standing right next to you. They almost have what they want: absolute control. They shot Nick Fury and it won't end there. If you launch those Helicarriers today, HYDRA will be able to kill anyone that stands in their way, unless we stop them. I know I'm asking a lot, but the price of freedom is high, it always has been, and it's a price I'm willing to pay. And if I'm the only one, then so be it. But I'm willing to bet I'm not.”

Sharon Carter stood up from a desk and began looking around, taking in the sheer number of now known HYDRA agents in the room. No one dared to move. Rumlow and a group of armed men entered the control room, walking past Kerrigan, and made a bee line for Cameron Klein, the head tech on the launch.

“Preempt the launch sequence. Send those ships up now.” He barked.

Kerrigan started moving forward slowly.

“Is there a problem?” Rumlow asked.

“I’m sorry sir. I’m not gonna launch those ships. Captain’s orders.” He put his hands up in surrender.

“Move away from your station.”

No one moved. The whole room was still except for Kerrigan, who was still inching her way towards the center of the room. Sharon pulled her gun from his holster and pointed it at Rumlow, who was now pointing his piece at Klein.

“Like he said. Captain’s orders.”

There was a shuffle - everyone was reaching for their weapons. Kerrigan gave up on subtlety and moved towards them with haste.

“You picked the wrong side, Agent.”

Kerrigan pulled her gun on Rumlow, opposite of Sharon.

“Depends on where you’re standing.” She looked at Kerrigan with a confused expression. All of S.T.R.I.K.E. was outed as the enemy, yet here she was with her gun pointed at its leader.

“And you,” Rumlow turned towards her slowly after dropping his gun and putting his hands up. “I knew you were weak.”

In one swift motion, Rumlow grabbed his knife and slice Sharon’s arm, then turned to try and stab Kerrigan in the stomach. Bullets started to fly. She dodged his blade, but a round grazed her thigh. It could have been an accident, but there was no way to tell. Her attention shifted to it, giving Rumlow an opportunity to release the helicarriers. He ran off before Kerrigan could reach for him, and there were more pressing matters that had to be taken care of. The helicarriers were launched.

“They’re initiating launch.” said Hill into comms. “What’s your status Oliver?”

“We need to start a full scale evac of the Triskelion. I have men down in the launch room.” 

“Got it.” Hill replied.

Kerrigan reached out to Sharon, who was sitting on the ground holding her arm that had been cut open.

“Carter, are you okay?”

“Its just superficial, I’m fine.” 

“Hill, I’m handing my comm over to Agent 13, then I’m headed up to the World Security Council.” She removed her ear piece before she heard a response.

“Here, take this. It’ll but you in contact with Maria Hill, Agent Romanoff, and Captain Rogers.”

Sharon took it skeptically. “You’re Hydra, aren’t you?”

“Not anymore. Now’s not the time for me to explain. Just trust me.”

She contemplated it, then made her decision. “If you’re on comms with Steve, that means he trusts you. And I trust his judgement.”

“Thank you.” Kerrigan helped her up, then ran blind up towards the World Security Council office. 

The flashing emergency lights kicked on, illuminating the hallways with a pulsating red. Through the windows, Kerrigan could see masses of people running from the building. There was no telling how many HYDRA agents escaped among them. Even she didn’t know the full extent of the organization’s reach.

The stairways were surprisingly empty. She made it up the steps with no lapses in endurance, until she reached the fiftieth floor. Her father’s office. 

Fury was already there, holding a gun to Pierce who was holding a remote in his hand and looking at Natasha. Kerrigan stowed her gun in her waistband and entered the room with her hands up. Natasha looked at her and winked.

“You know, there was I time I would’ve taken a bullet for you.” Nick said.

“You already did,” Pierce snapped back. “Both of you did.” He acknowledged Kerrigan’s presence.

In a split second, Natasha used one of her Widow’s Bites on herself. Her body was wracked with electricity and fell to the ground. Kerrigan used that opportunity to draw her weapon. Both her and Fury fired simultaneously striking Pierce through the chest.

Fury ran towards Natasha, trying to shake her awake. Kerrigan walked towards her father. She felt numb. There were so many things she was feeling: anger, sadness, guilt, remorse, hate. The list goes on and on. 

He reached towards her with a bloodied hand, “…Kerrigan..”

She looked down at him, right in the eye. “You deserve this. What do you have to say for yourself? Huh? You ruined my entire life!” She shuttered. “You murdered my mom! Your own wife? How do you even do that? Do you not feel anything? Does any of it mean anything to you? Say Something!”

With his dying breath, he uttered, “Hail… Hydra…”

Kerrigan fell to her knees and sobbed. 

“Come on, we have to go,” Natasha tried to console her. The helicarriers were aflame, looming over the Potomac and drifting dangerously close to the building. “Please Kerrigan. We have to go.”

Natasha pulled her from the ground and wrapped her arm around her friend. Fury held the door open for the two with his good arm. The helicopter lifted.

In the back seat, Kerrigan sat wiping her eyes dry. She wasn’t crying for her father - he didn’t deserve her tears. The sudden jerk to the side snapped her back to the real world. Sam through the helicopter door, and would’ve fallen out the other side if Kerrigan hadn’t reached out to grab him. 

They circled around the building, trying to get a visual on Rogers. It took minutes, but Kerrigan spotted them first. Steve had just fallen into the Potomac, then another figure jumped after him. Bucky. 

She unbuckled her seatbelt and took off her head phones. “Keep these safe for me. I”ll need them after this is over.” She shoved the pill bottles into Nat’s hand.

“Kerrigan, what are you doing?” Natasha yelled over the turbulence caused by the blades. Kerrigan jumped out of the side without a door, and dove into the Potomac. She knew she would walk away from the fall unscathed, but that didn’t prepare her for the shock of hitting the water.

Once she gathered her bearings, she swam over the the coast. Steve was laying there unconscious with bullet holes through his abdomen. 

“Oh my god, Steve!” She reached for his neck - he still had a pulse. She reached for her satellite phone (which was miraculously still in her unzipped pocket) and hoped that it would still work. It did. She dialed 911 and told the dispatch Steve’s location and condition. Then, she left the phone behind and ran after the figure that lumbered into the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! This is the second to last installment of this story. I already have the first chapter of the second installment written, so that'll be ready for publication as soon as this story wraps up. I hope you all enjoy and thank you for reading :)


	12. Picking Up the Pieces

Kerrigan could hear Bucky’s footsteps, crunching on leaves and foliage that littered the trail she was following. Then, he stopped. She couldn’t hear any movement. A chill crept down her spine. She whipped around, reaching for her gun which she forgot was now lying at the bottom of the River from when she jumped. He was standing right behind her. In a flash, he pushed her up and back against a tree with his metal arm, holding her by the throat. 

She grasped onto his arm, not trying to fight him. Trying to show him that she wasn’t a threat. His grip was getting tighter. She was barely able to squeak out, “Bucky, please…”

He let go out of shock. That name. Bucky. It left the bittersweet taste of nostalgia on his tongue. It hurt almost as much as the dull pain in his real, albeit dislocated, shoulder.

The light bruising across his left cheekbone and ear indicated to Kerrigan that they wiped him again. She stepped forward towards him and slowly reached out her hand, placing it on his chest. 

“Do you know who I am?” She asked quietly. He nodded.

“You work for them.” 

“Not anymore.”

“Pierce?” He asked.

“He’s dead.” She said. 

His voice sounded raspy, like it hadn’t been used in a while. “And you.”

“I don’t do that anymore. Neither will you, I promise.”

The sound of sirens grew in the distance, making the pair nervous.

“We have to go,” she pulled away and continued walking down the path. Bucky didn’t move.

“Please.”

He was reluctant to follow her, but he trusted the sirens a lot less than he trusted her. They broke out into a jog down back roads and alley ways, avoiding any human contact. Luckily, everyone was either taking cover inside or on their way out of the city. If anyone did see them, they didn’t stop them. 

“Where are we?” He asked. He followed up with an apology.

Kerrigan held the door open for him and ushered him inside. “I lived here. And you don’t have to apologize for anything.”

As soon as they got into her apartment, she whipped her suitcase out of the closet and began folding clothes hastily on top of the box of photos she had packed the night before. God, it had been a long day. She rummaged through her closet for a smaller bag she already had packed. The night before she left for Paris, she started planning for this day. It was full of men’s clothes, among other things. If she was going to escape, she had thought, she was bringing him with her.

Bucky stood awkwardly in her living room, taking in the details she was leaving behind. He paced around quietly, until he stepped on the floorboard that creaked in front of her bedroom door.

Kerrigan caught a glimpse of the side of her face in the mirror. The smaller scrapes were already nearly gone, but the larger one down her cheekbone was probably going to scar. It had already developed a pearly gloss over the center.

“Hey, come here,” she patted the empty space on he bed in-between the luggage. “I need to get you out of those clothes.” 

She started undoing the straps of his tactical vest which was soaked with river water. He winced in pain when she laid her hand on his shoulder. 

“Oh geez,” she slowly and carefully pulled the garment away from his body, leaving him exposed from the waist up. His right shoulder was bruised and misshapen. He held it stiff, and watched her with a nervous eye as she examined it.

“It’s dislocated, I’m going to have to reduce it.”

He nodded. Kerrigan moved the bags from her bed and had him lay flat on his back.

“I’ll do it on the count of three. It’s probably going to hurt,” she said apologetically. She took his hand in hers and positioned herself. 

“One, two,” crack. 

Bucky finally understood why they used a mouth guard when they would wipe him. He felt a flash of white hot pain, which caused him to clench his jaw so tight that it popped.

Kerrigan started rocking it back and fourth gently, checking range of motion. “Does it feel better?”

He nodded again. Then there was a knock at the door. Multiple knocks. Someone really wanted to get in.

“Oliver I know you’re in there. Open the door. Now!”

It was Natasha. 

Bucky stood up quickly, ready to fight again.

“No, its okay, she’s a friend,” she handed him a shirt and pants from the bag. “Dry off and change into these. There’s towels in the closet. I’ll be back.”

Kerrigan looked through the peep hole in her door and saw Nat standing outside.

“Are you alone?” Kerrigan asked through the door.

“Yes, I’m alone. And before you ask, no, I wasn’t followed either.”

Kerrigan unlocked her door and pulled her inside.

“What the hell was that out there?” Nat asked, exasperated.

“I saw something I needed to take care of. Do you have the bottles?”

“Yeah, here,” she handed Kerrigan the containers. “You owe me an explanation.”

“Where do you want me to start?”

Natasha looked around, thinking. She had so many questions she wanted answered. Kerrigan shook her wet hair out from the pony tail it was in, letting drops of water hit the floor. Nat’s gaze followed the droplets. Then she noticed the muddy footprints on the floor. Two distinct pairs. 

“There’s someone else here.” Natasha wasn’t asking.

Kerrigan nodded. Natasha tried to push past her, but Kerrigan held her back.

“Nat. Nat, Nat, wait.” She pressed urgently. 

“What?” 

“Before you see him, I need you to understand something.”

Nat tilted her head.

“He’s not the way he was on the free way.”

“You’ve got to be shitting me.”

She took a step back. Kerrigan grabbed her hand and lead her to the bedroom, but stopped her again before opening the door. “Don’t make any sudden movements, I don’t know how he’ll react.”

“How did he react to you?”

“Not well.” Kerrigan pushed the door open slowly, revealing Bucky sitting on the bed with a shirt half pulled over his head. His metal hand was stuck in knots in his hair.

“I need help,” he muttered softly.

“That’s the Winter Soldier?” Nat asked quietly in disbelief. 

“Not anymore,” Kerrigan left Nat in the doorway as she approached Bucky. His hair had been knotted between the plates of his metal fingers. “Here, here I got it,” she said gently, working the tangles out. Only a few strands were uncomfortably pulled, but in less than a minute his hand was free.

He stared at Natasha, and his face contorted from confusion, to realization, to remorse.

“I shot you.”

“Yeah.” she reached for her shoulder, which had started to ache at the reminder.

“I’m sorry.”

Natasha didn’t know how to respond. He looked so despondent sitting there next to those suitcases. Suitcases.

“Are you going somewhere?” She turned to ask Kerrigan.

“We can’t stay here. There’s bound to be Hydra agents that made it out. They’ll hunt us down to get their asset back and I’ll probably be killed for defecting.” Kerrigan looked up, holding her hands under her chin. “And its not like I can go crying to the federal government to protect me.”

“Why? Fury’s drive is more than enough to clear you of any charges.”

“You know that isn’t true. I’d be lucky if I could plead guilty and claim I was under duress for fear of my life, but that’s still years behind bars. And even if some miracle plays out and I get off, I’d still be in danger. Hydra’s reach is everywhere. And then there’s him-“

They both turned to look at Bucky, who was still sitting on the edge of the bed. His posture was slouched. For being a bigger guy, he seemed to want to make himself as small as possible.

“This is my fault. All of it. And now it’s time I paid the price for my actions. I can help him rediscover who he is - that’s my penance.”

Natasha looked Kerrigan in the eyes. “Okay. But tell me, how were you planning on going any where with him? It’s not like you can make it through airport security.”

“I honestly hadn’t thought that far ahead.”

Natasha looked back and forth between the two, then took a deep breath. “Let me help you.”

“How?”

“Finish packing your bags, I’ll take them with me. Give me two hours, tops. Meet me where he’s buried.”

Kerrigan finished packing quickly, finishing off the suitcase with the envelope of cash from the ATM on top. Then it dawned on her that five hundred dollars was not enough to live on for an extended period of time. “Nat, I don’t have enough money and I can’t go to the bank now and risk the trail..”

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll have it covered.” With a wink, Natasha swept up the baggage and left the apartment. 

During the packing frenzy, Bucky decided to curl up on the bed. He was completely drained and his mind slowed down enough for him to shut his eyes and rest.

“Buck, hey.”

He felt a gentle nudge on his arm. As if he forgot where he was for a moment, he sat up straight and looked around, before calming back down. 

“Why do you keep calling me that?”

“Well, it’s your name. Technically your first name is James, but you always went by Bucky.”

“That’s strange. Bucky,” He tested the word out. “What else do you know about me?”

Kerrigan thought for a moment. She knew a lot, but wanted to be careful about what and how she told him. 

“I don’t know if I’ll get it right, but I know where you can see for yourself,” she made up an excuse. “And besides, we’re waiting on Natasha anyway so we have some time to kill.”

He looked up at her. “Where?”

———-

“A symbol to the nation. A hero to the world. The story of Captain America is one of honor, bravery and sacrifice.” Despite the halls of the Smithsonian being deserted, the narration from Cap’s exhibit droned on. Kerrigan and Bucky ducked inside through a side door. She held his hand and weaved him through the bits of history he forgot about, and the moments he helped create.

Bucky froze before the mural painted of Steve in his 1940’s war uniform. That was the man on the helicarrier. The man he dragged out of the river. The man from the bridge. He knew him.

“Come on, there’s more.” Kerrigan offered a sympathetic smile and pulled him along. They turned into the wing, where the Howling Commando’s post stood proud. Steve’s uniform wasn’t there (it was folded into an evidence bag in the D.C. Metro Hospital), but Bucky paid no attention. He took his hand back from Kerrigan and stood up tall, looking up at himself, the man he used to be.

The glass partition didn’t prevent him from reaching out to his old Commando’s jacket. The wool felt familiar, but so distant. He remembered London. A British woman. A bar. “That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight. I’m following him.”

Kerrigan’s hand on his shoulder startled him.

“Who is he?” He asked her, looking towards Steve’s photo.

“Captain Steven Grant Rogers. First Battalion in the 26th Infantry Regiment.”

“And that’s me? Next to him?”

Kerrigan nodded.

“Best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield. Barnes is the only Howling Commando to give his life in service of his country,” the narration from the next part of the exhibit looped.

Bucky still looked like the man in the picture, except his hair was longer. 

“What’s the year?” He asked, studying his infographic that displayed his life. 

“2014.”

It didn’t make sense to him. How could it be 2014? And how was he still alive? According to the talking sign, he died in 1944.

His hand fell to his side, until Kerrigan took it again in hers.

“They got that part wrong, but no one knew the full extent of what happened. Not even Steve.” She paused. “After you fell from the train…”

The train. His breath hitched. He could feel himself falling. He could feel the snowy air of the alps whistling past his face. He could feel the hard ground under his back, and the blinding pain in his left arm. He was there again.

“No, stop.” He said quietly, exhaling shaky breaths.

“Okay, it’s okay.”

He paused for a moment.

“I don’t think I’m this person anymore.”

“That’s okay. It’ll take time.”

Time to undo the damage I did, she thought.

She looked down at her wrist watch. “We should probably go soon, Natasha’ll be waiting.”

Bucky didn’t reply. He paced around, taking in everything the museum suggested. The pictures of pre-serum Steve made him smile, though he wasn’t sure why. 

On their way out, they passed by the gift shop. A red, white, and blue shield keychain caught his eye. Even though they were truly alone, he looked around before pocketing it. 

————

The path of the righteous man - Ezekiel 25:17.

Kerrigan smirked as she read Fury’s false headstone. 

“A righteous man, my ass,” she mumbled.

Bucky sat on the ground with his back up against a tree. He turned the miniature shield over in his hand, remembering what it was like to hold the real one properly. Things were coming back to him faster than they had before - probably since it had been months, maybe even years, since he was in cryo. Seeing the Smithsonian aided in the retrieval of his old life.

He felt different. Safer. He was finished being a puppet for Hydra and he knew it.

“Glad you could make it,” Nick Fury wandered up next to Kerrigan.

“Wouldn’t want to leave without paying my respects,” she said. “I didn’t know you were going to be here.”

“Well, Agent Romanoff is going to need a ride back into town.”

Just then, a quinjet landed in the clearing ahead. Bucky got up and stood behind Kerrigan, grabbing ahold of the back of her shirt for security. The bay on the jet lowered, and Natasha strode out.

“These are for you,” Natasha handed her a pile of papers, a wallet, and two passports. Kerrigan flipped through them. 

“Ollie Rushman and James Patterson?” Kerrigan looked up puzzled.

“Your new aliases. There’s also a credit card linked up to an encrypted account that’ll never run dry,” Nat smiled, proud of her work. “I also called in a favor with a friend. If any one official asks any questions, you’re an international tech consultant for Stark Industries.”

Kerrigan pulled out a driver’s license that read out her new identity under a New York header. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

“Just stay on the straight and narrow,” Nat looked up to Bucky. “Take care of each other.”

He nodded and let go of the back of Kerrigan’s shirt.

Natasha topped the pile in Kerrigan’s arms with keys to the jet.

“How did you manage to get a jet off the radar?” Kerrigan asked curiously.

“There’s so much damage to the old HQ, that I don’t think anyone’ll miss it. Just keep it in stealth mode, and you should be fine,” Nat said. “Oh, and I almost forgot, I have some secure phones in there too, among your bags and some other surprises. Keep in touch.”

The two girls embraced. Fury turned towards Bucky and extended his hand out.

“You’ve got great aim, Sergeant.”

Bucky took his hand and shook it, but couldn’t find the right words to say to the stranger.

Kerrigan came over and wrapped Fury in an unexpected hug. “Thank you. I wouldn’t be here, now, without you.”

She stepped back and looked at the three people around her - the three she trusted most in the world, and smiled. Saying goodbye wasn’t fitting. Her and Bucky joined hands and departed.

The two walked up the ramp into the jet. Kerrigan turned and waved to the two, and the life she had lived. She walked up to the pilot’s seat and looked to her left as she started the engine. The sun was setting on the horizon, ending this chapter of her life. And she knew that the morning sunrise would be there, lighting the way for her and Bucky to make their way in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end of the first part of this series! :) 
> 
> I already have the first chapter of part two written and ready to be published hopefully tomorrow. The sequel will have more background info/ character building as well as time jumps -- but more on that later.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


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